I totally agree with you Cora on the deprivation thing. In my own personal experience, my parents didn't go out of their way to deprive me of certain foods necessarily, but they were very nervous about allowing me any leeway even when my dietician explained to them that they could sometimes replace a given amount of starches in my meal plan with sweets. So I did end up sneaking around quite a bit to get sweets in other ways and when I got out on my own I had basically NO self-control! Of course in the end all of that is my responsibility and not theirs, but I think a big factor in my having such a hard time with self-control as an adult is that feeling of "HA! No one is here to tell me not to eat this now! Take THAT!"
But that said I think my parents were more relaxed about it than some. When I was in a school soccer tournament I met a little boy my age who was also diabetic, and his mother mentioned to me that sometimes, if he had really good BGs, she *might* let him have a "sliver" of lemon tart. If she was being truthful, I felt so bad for him! My parents did at least let me have sweets at church suppers and the like.
I often use the idea of "carb intolerant" myself, but it depends how it's done. I never thought of it as sayiing that "I only need insulin in order to cover carbs/all I have to do is avoid carbs and it's like I'm not diabetic." If it's presented in such a way that that's what people are made to think, then I agree it's misleading. But I think of it more as saying, "It's kind of like a food allergy, but not really. There are foods my body can't tolerate the way other people do, so I do have to avoid having too much, but it's not going to kill me if I eat them sometimes. I just have to be prepared to deal with the consequences!" And put like that it sounds a lot like an intolerance. I usually say that so people don't feel bad about offering me a cookie when they didn't realize I was diabetic, or when people are confused that I always order diet sodas but sometimes get dessert!