In addition to the DUK guidelines, you may want to take in a food diary. The consultant appears to be deluded that you are eating massive amounts of food and just "eating less" will magically solve everything. When in fact you're eating fairly reasonably, I believe, and "eating less" would probably make you less healthy rather than more, and not really give you better control or weight loss. Also, aren't you fairly active, Lucy? I remember you used to bike everywhere! Of course with the move and everything I understand that might have gone by the wayside for now. But it's clear this doctor has formed a certain mental image of you that is leading him to ask things of you that are, in fact, unrealistic. (It also occurs to me that he is assuming, based on that same mental image, that getting off insulin is a desirable goal for you, and maybe even something you want yourself, rather than considering the possibility that you actually NEED it and appreciate having it, as you have never been a typical T2 and it allows you to eat without as much worry!)
So I think if they had some evidence of just how far you are having to cut back (and the fact that you are afraid to eat!!) to achieve what he has asked of you, it might provide a reality check. Hopefully your GP will be on board with you anyway without needing much convincing, but it can't hurt to have a little extra info in your back pocket, so to speak. If need be, you could even see about roping in a dietician - of course the dietician may recommend more carbs than you are really comfortable with, but if that's the case, then she will react even more strongly to the fact that you are now afraid to eat carbs and basically unable to achieve what she will consider a balanced diet AND reducing your medication without sacrificing control.
It strikes me this is a lot like the old software developers' "joke": cheap, fast, or good, pick any two. In your case it's: less medication, good control, or sustainable diet, pick any two!