Back On Topic LOL Settle down with a beverage, original unedited version of War and Peace follows …..
I was first on the list, Oh good!
Admissions Nurse was, I should say, Philipinno - had to concentrate really hard to understand her questions - completes one side of her form, turns it over and then gets another form and says 'As it only a Local, straight to the Consent form then' - WHAAAT? Did you just say 'local' ? etc. Having a right whinge to me that 'the unspecified they' have given her the wrong form and now she'll have to go and get another (cos by this time she's firstly asked me if I'm sure I'm right, yes because firstly my consultant told me it would be when I asked him, immediately before he referred me, ditto by the nurse at my pre-med last week - but no, still had to read part of the accompanying Encyclopedia Britannica, AKA my Notes) before sailing out (to the tune in my head of 'Stately as Galleon' LOL) to get another form, where we got onto page 2.
What am I there to have done? - Removal of offending metalwork'
- then we move onto the GA questions again - ie Any spare parts?
We move through the hearing aids, artificial eyes, dentures, I mention my pump - yep that's there! Blimey! - says to remind anaesthetist (and he already knew when I got to that point, and was fine with it staying on and the Bluetooth was left turned on as long as it stayed ouside the theatre in the initial recovery room, along with my handbag, clothes, coat and outdoor shoes) - and then asked if I had any metalwork? I laughed and said 'only the offending lot' - and then had to explain my answer .....
Taped up wedding ring with about a mile of micropore LOL
Not the best start I thought .......
Off to a room to disrobe, don gown and dressing gown and slippers, then the anaesthetist, great - then the main man - the actual main man, the one who drew the short straw and did it in the first place - he's a man you can talk to and welcomes questions - So bearing in mind the wound was stapled and immobilised for ages and ages thereafter in order for the bone to knit and all the swelling to dissipate - is it going to be immobilised again - how on earth will that like being bent from the outseet, if it isn't immobilised. He chuckled and actually said 'We have a cunning plan - when we do such things, we apply a padded dressing which is thicker behind the joint, which is reduced in a couple of days and unless something is a problem, we don't need to see you until a fortnight after the procedure - when the STITCHES we fastened it with this time, are removed!' Oh brill.
So off I go, happily. We go via the loo, LOL. We arrive. Slippers off, stashed in bag, dressing gown off pump retrieved from pocket also into bag and me onto trolley, Cannula inserted into left hand as I'm right handed. Arrow on left leg checked with notes. Ready? Yes thanks. Injection starts to go into cannula and next thing I know I'm waking up - and apparently it's turned 2 pm ! OK, I did have to get up at 6am LOL
One sip of water and off we went, as per usual. Got dressed, went up to the just ordinary area and onto a full length reclining chair, lovely. Supposed to be 2-3 hours. Started to complete the job I'd started downstairs! Desperately trying to stay awake, they gave me one Cyclazine tablet with a tiny drop of water (I mean there was more water, but I decided to restrict it, good job they're so tiny!) said thank you - and simply fell asleep again. Eventually I wake up and realise there's another lady next to me - obviously had hand surgery, asked her, yes it was carpal tunnel. I also remembered to apologise to the poor woman for my awful (apparently) snoring - the only person I've ever met who it doesn't 'get to' ! LOL
I was asked to ring Pete about half four so it's rush hour with a few miles of parked traffic past the hospital entrance going from Bedworth to Nuneaton, because of the very major roadworks they decided to do on a '5 ways' island, nightmare on a normal day outside the rush hour, so took 3 arts of an hour by the time they told me he was there and let him in to escort me to the car in the rain and when I got home Just normal ordinary busy rush hour traffic the other way, so just queues rather than total gridlock - it was time for another nap, eventually about a quarter of a cup of tea, felt nauseous, had a nap, few forkfuls of stew, nap … not so bad now, but raging acid reflux even though no Cloppy Dog for over a week now so I've had to admit defeat and take a Lanzaprazole.
Oh and just remembered the admitting nurse was trying to measure my left ankle as well as the right one, I said You don't need to that and she said You have to have them on both legs - I went to tell her why and she told me to let her do her job, please because she knew her job and I didn't. She came to check I'd got changed and wanted to know why I was only wearing the right one, I replied safely right at the bottom of my bag, thanks.
You wouldn't mind if just the odd consultant somewhere in the mists of time had told you not to, but when having an operation on the particular lower limb and/or intermittent claudication are both firmly official NHS Clinical Contra-idications and all of those are printed an the packets of the ruddy popsocks in question - God help anyone saying Help me! I'm hypo!
Poor chap later, turning up for a later appointment, T2 on oral meds (apparently you have to stop them X days before an anaesthetic) asked the nurse if she could test his BG please because when he did it that morning, it was already 18.0! Couldn't stop myself saying O hell mate - you must feel like shit! He agreed he did, I said, I only wish I could help you... It's bad, isn't it? Why on earth don't they issue folk with one 3ml cartridge of something and strict instructions re dose, surely SOME extra insulin has got to be better than no help whatever?
Oh - I also needed a couple of paracetamol earlier, as it's ruddy sore. That's abated by now, to just an Oh - it's a bit sore, level. None of the all round achy throbbing - so far LOL
My task for tomorrow even though I didn't accept it by choice is to get an appointment at my GP to get the dressing 'reduced' on Thursday. Obviously at this time of year they won't be busy! …….