Well, I had a fun weekend away for my birthday, but diabetes definitely rained on the parade in ways it wouldn't have done pre-pump (or if I was better with the pump). Woke up early most mornings feeling sick and gross from high BGs, and barely saw an in-range number all weekend. Now I was eating massive amounts of food so I take full responsibility for that - and I certainly wasn't expecting BGs to behave well over the weekend! But I wasn't expecting to feel so sick and so stressed all the time - about BGs being high, about BGs not coming down despite multiple corrections (including many syringe corrections), about running out of insulin in the pod, about being queried about my insulin use by my pharmacy...UGH!
By the end I was restricting what I ate so as not to use too much insulin, and doing syringe boluses in order to save the insulin in the pod for basals. It all kind of put a damper on the holiday, though I did still have fun.
Woke up an hour early this morning mega high (19+) AGAIN after only having eaten a handful of crackers between 2 p.m. and bedtime (but had had 2 breakfast sandwiches at McDonald's and a roast beef sandwich and fries at Arby's before 2 p.m.). No ketones to speak of, cannula still in. BG just spiked of its own accord as soon as the bolus for the crackers ran out. I don't know what I'm doing wrong or what I could do differently. I mean, obviously, stop eating as much and let things settle down. But if this pump thing is going to work, it HAS to be able to (*I* have to be able to) handle a holiday with some carb splurges. Right now I kind of hate that me being on the pod means a whole chain of people are basically scrutinizing my food choices - my clinic, because of uploading my data via diasend; the pharmacy, because of me needing to buy more insulin than usual if I eat more than usual; and my insurance, if I have to replace a pod early because I go through the whole reservoir before 72 hours is up.
And now I need to upload my data for the CDE which is also stressful (they're going to see my horrible no-good very bad weekend and go over it with a fine-toothed comb. AAGH!) and I'm supposed to be getting lab work done in the next day or two for an appointment with the endo who I frankly do not want to see right now. I may just put off the appointment, all she seems to do is tick boxes anyway and I am definitely not ticking any boxes right now!!
Have promised myself I will persevere until the end of my 3 month trial period (early Sept.) but I feel like if I'm not seeing SOME benefit to BG management that outweighs all the annoyances (finding a comfortable position to sleep in, dealing with the itching when the adhesive starts pulling - and did I mention that ALL of my 5 previous infusion sites are still clearly visible on my skin? Even after nearly 2 weeks, the first ones still haven't fully healed. It's not like I had a beach-ready body to begin with or anything but if I had been I would be pretty self-conscious about it - I look like I've been attacked by biting insects!) and the added stresses and anxieties about high BGs and getting enough supplies...well this may not be for me.
Still taking comfort in the fact that all of you who have transitioned to a pump have felt similarly and none of you have turned back, so probably I will get the hang of it too!